Fearing Fire
by rabecca riches
Summary: Topaz O'Leery planned on dying, not getting caught by wild humans. Maybe humans and souls can live together in peace, but as seeing the sadness in the souls left, she knows that's a lie. Capturing souls and sending them away, they are slowly getting their humans back. What happens though, when it doesn't work? What happens to the souls left? Rated M for a reason, but sorta minor M
1. Chapter 1

So thanks for all the wonderful feedback already, just hours after I posted. I realized there was some rather terrible flaws in my writing of the first chapter and I wanted to fix them so here's a revised and edited version, mostly inspired by Cypress 16 who pointed out the mis-used Sleep and some other mistakes that I will fix in the latter chapters.

This is my take on what happens almost four to five years after Wanda and her wonderful tale. I hope you enjoy and please shoot me a review if you find any mistake that I need to correct.

* * *

Fearing Fire

Prologue

Topaz danced the doll over the bed, laughing as the silky brown hair bounced to her ministrations. Songs played from the radio and she hummed along.

_I love this song._

"I do too Penny, but I prefer the other singer."

_Yeah well, she'll come on in a little bit._

Suddenly Mrs. Ore walked in the room, pulling off her oven mitts and wearing a very uncharacteristic frown, "Who are you talking to Topaz?"

"Penny."

"I thought I told you that once you turned ten you had to say goodbye to Penny, I told you that it was bad for you to still have an imaginary friend."

"But Mrs Ore, she's not imaginary."

Mrs Ore's face twisted and she sighed harshly, "I want you to say goodbye to her right now or I'm taking you to a Comforter to make this problem go away. You've lost too many adoptive parents because of this imaginary friend and I won't have you losing your chances in school as well."

Topaz gasped, "But there's nothing wrong with me."

"You are too old to have imaginary friends Topaz! Now stop it." Mrs Ore left the bedroom and Topaz stared after her.

_That's just a dumb thing to do, why wouldn't she believe you? There's nothing wrong with me being here. I've always been here, ever since we were born._

Topaz suddenly stood and dropped her doll on the ground, "I'm not going to talk to you anymore Penny. You just get me in trouble and I don't think it's right to have you here either! Nobody else has friends in their heads!"

_But Topaz-_

"Shut up!"

Sitting down on her bed, Topaz held her head and blocked her cradle-hood friend's voice, keeping it in the back of her head. It was well past time for Penny to stop talking, for her to stop being.

Chapter One

Looking down the cliff, Topaz O'Leery decided she didn't know exactly how to go about jumping. Should she leap or just fall?

The cliff was rather small, five stories high, but not as big as if Topaz climbed up higher on the mountain. She'd stopped because she was afraid of heights. Afraid of the sun. Heat, fire, sand. It brought everything back, even if the emotions and range of feelings were vastly different from her memories.

Jumping would end everything, stop the constant pain of her body and mind. It was like a burn, aching like a heartbeat just beneath her skin. Under every thought. The reminders were always around her.

Sun of fire, the same fire that had filled the Fire World.

Topaz was a soul, a parasite that was inserted into the body of a human. She erased minds and took over, living only because of what she'd stolen from a defenseless mind. He'd told her so many times what she was. He'd told her so many times how she shouldn't be on Earth, shouldn't enjoy the freedom the be under the sun and to breathe the soft wind.

Wind and sun had stripped Topaz's body of energy, just as He had striped her of lucidity. Topaz didn't know His name.

He was the Torturer, the Truth Bringer. He was the human who'd shown her the real world, the blood and pain that had come before the peace of souls. Such a small electronic box that held horror and agony, monsters and gruesome stories. A tiny screen that displayed the worst things humans had invented. Murder. Lying. Cheating.

Topaz knew it all now and she hated it.

She hated the sun on her face, the heat of the Fire World memories churning in her head making it feel hotter.

She hated the wind, memories of feeding on the gently curling smoke plumes of dead things for sustenance making it feel thicker – harder to breathe.

She hated her skin, the human body that she'd been put in when it was just a baby.

Had she murdered a baby? Killed it's presence before it had even had the chance to open it's eyes? Topaz had. Murder a newborn baby girl with blonde hair and fragile pale skin. She'd murdered another creature that had no chance to defend itself.

Her fault.

Looking down at the flat rocks below, Topaz turned around and reached up to grip the mountain face, to climb higher. Pulling up, the wounds opened up again and slipped heat down her back, the shirt long since dried too ripped to really be clothing anymore. How long had she worn the clothes she wore now? A week, a month, a year? Time didn't matter when every tick of the clock was another injury.

Her arms ached as she climbed.

Souls didn't function on pain. Most had a calling and they did it with all their mind, might, and stolen strength to honing that goal. Working and striving to give more of themselves to others. Souls loved and laughed, they were truthful and never prone to rage or anger. Sometimes the human emotions like jealousy or dislike arose but that was easily solved with a session to a Comforter.

Topaz didn't really know if she was a soul anymore.

Topaz barely remembered her calling. It had been something artistic, but it had made her body muscled and strong. Her life had been filled with hours of practice and training, to torque her body into a better spin or a longer leap…

But her life was a stolen life. A life that should have belonged to the baby she'd erased, just as easily as a human would have murdered someone.

Remembering the movies, Topaz flinched. He had never hurt her, never touched her unless it was to turn her face back to the TV. The hands that had put in movie after movie had never physically hurt her, but then again he hadn't made any of the other souls go mad with his hands either.

Seeing the four faces of the souls that had made it through the five months alive, Topaz's hand gripped the wrong rock and it went flying backward. Scrambling for a hold, she continued climbing. Every nook of the mountain was a part of their faces.

Blind eyed and moaning as they tried to dig out the memories. While Topaz had watched the one with brown hair had done the last act that a soul could do to protect itself, to destroy their body and die.

His blood had run from his nose. It had been His greatest cruelty, He had let her look at the dead one for at least an hour before taking the soul away to bury him with "the other dead ones" and promising that she'd get to be with him one day. Topaz had broken a few days later, broken free.

Free of sanity and her bonds.

Dirt rubbed her raw hands, stinging and infecting as she pulled her body higher. It didn't matter that she wouldn't be able to get back down, at least not alive.

She'd woken up, right minded and understanding the blood that had dried into the carpet, into her clothes. A shovel had been in her hands, His stiff body collapsed on the floor of the house. Topaz had dropped the shovel and run, straight out the backdoor and into the desert.

Mountains had loomed up behind the underground bunker house, no more than a mile away. It had been easy to get to the foot of the cliff.

Now her body folded in on itself, she tumbled over a shallow rise and lay spread eagled on the shallow flat. Looking over her head, she could see that she had a lot of the mountain left to climb if she wanted to get to the top.

The top of the mountain that would allow her, once and for all time, to die and never be able to hurt anyone again.

A year ago she hadn't wanted to die. What seventeen year old wanted to die, before their life had even begun? But then He'd caught her, told her and shown her the truth of her life. Scenes from movies swirled around in her head, like a sick whirlpool of knowledge that she knew would settle out into a wave that would drown all of who she'd been her whole life.

It wasn't the knowing what the humans had done to each other that made her want to leave the world behind. Topaz could have forgotten everything in time. What terrified her was what she'd done with that knowledge.

Topaz had killed a man. With a shovel, painting the floor red.

Even if she couldn't remember the event, she knew what it must have looked like because she'd seen it on the TV. Murder wasn't something a soul should be capable of but Topaz had changed. Like a fruit from the Tree of Life, she'd learned of the true nature of human kind and with that knowledge she had sinned.

Glad that souls didn't have a heaven or hell, Topaz looked forward to the blank serenity of nothing.

Breathing in the dry air of the desert, she absorbed the dead place around her like a balm. What a fitting place to die. A place absent of life. Her death would fit right in with the rest of this place.

Standing up, Topaz looked at the ground to make sure she was going to the edge, but something else caught her eye.

Maybe two feet away was a large dent in the ground, a sharp zigzag line filled in with dirt and dried mud.

Turning away from the edge, Topaz's eyes followed the dent all the way until she saw the small hole. Dropping away into black, the basketball sized hole made Topaz frown and think. Black inside a mountain? Was the mountain hollow?

Walking forward, Topaz had every intention of turning back once she'd checked out the strange absence of cliff.

When her foot fell on the dent, it didn't stop like it should have. Instead Topaz toppled forward. The ground crumbled below her, a flash then she sank into the dark with the ground around her. Topaz closed her eyes and waited for death to hit her as it would have had she jumped off the cliff.

Instead of death Topaz hit dirt.

The ground that had so kindly made way for her to fall landed on top of her like boulders. Curling up and covering her head with her hands, Topaz felt like she was being buried alive by nature.

Everything stopped moving as suddenly as it had started. Shifting, Topaz realized she was weighted down. Her hands sunk into the mud as she pushed herself up in a burst of energy that came from somewhere in her center, the weak little part of her that wanted to live.

Reborn.

Shaking her head to clear it of the haze of poetic thoughts, Topaz shakily cleaned her face of enough blood mud so that she could look around.

Light from above filtered in and helped her eyes adjust, the forms of close to fifteen people standing in front of her. Topaz pushed out of the pile of dirt, eyeing them calculatingly. Maybe they would just let her pass if she told them she was okay. Souls were so easy to lie to, they never suspected you of not telling the pure truth.

Even as she was thinking it Topaz realized a horrifying thing.

Not one soul stood among the crowd in front of her.

The hostile expressions and battle ready stances were those that only a human could understand how to have. Their eyes didn't reflect the light shining from the cave ceiling, the dirty contours of their faces hard and narrow.

Had she really fallen into a human lair? Fear filled her, an ingrained reaction, but she frowned at it. What was the difference between humans killing her and jumping off a cliff? She'd end up the same either way.

"Jared."

Topaz blinked as a human suddenly spoke quietly from the back, the front most member of the group nodding his head in acknowledgment of the voice before telling the humans around him, "It's a soul people, nothing special." He had tanned skin and light eyes, the hair on his head bleached blonde.

"But... it fell through the ceiling! Like literally, the roof collapsed and it fell onto the carrot patch-"

The one called Jared nodded his head, "Yes."

Protesting stopped when a porcelain skinner woman stepped out from behind Jared, wide grey eyes fixed on Topaz. Wide grey eyes that were ringed by a delicate band of silver that reflected diamond patterns onto the walls.

"Hello. I'm Wanda, a soul just like you."

Topaz stepped away quickly, careful to not trip over the dirt pile behind her. The silvery cast to the woman's skin made her seem like a harmless soul, one who wouldn't hurt anything if her life depended on it.

Topaz stepped away again. What would Wanda think of Topaz when she found out what she'd done, that she'd blacked out and murdered someone.

The words the woman said didn't make sense to Topaz, her head had begun swimming around in her skull. Her steps backward quickened until she stepped on something that wasn't dirt, instead it was springy and...

Green?

Glancing quickly down, Topaz blinked at the green. The humans were standing in a dark brown patch but Topaz was standing in a large rectangle of green. Plants? Shifting her gaze up and around the group, she realized it was some kind of field, the humans standing in front of her having harvested half of the... carrots? Hysteria threatened but Topaz pushed it away, again meeting the grey eyes of the soul.

"We won't hurt you. I just want to help you. What's your name?"

Topaz shook her head quickly.

Her name had been one that the orphanage had determined would fit a soul from five years on the Fire World, it meant fire in one of the languages here on Earth. If Wanda knew that then the kindness would fade and she'd look at Topaz with distrust, just as all the adoptive parents had just before they'd ask for another child to take home with them. Five life times on a planet that had been known for death was something that made souls feel the uncommon feeling of distrust.

Suddenly something slapped onto her skin and Topaz turned at the shock.

Stuck to he upper part of her elbow was a silvery square patch, it's top emblazoned with the black word Sleep. Topaz looked to her left and realized there was not just the fifteen people in front of her, but several more to the side. One was holding a plastic pistol with an odd wide square end, a nozzle that could fire the inch wide square patch. It was pointed straight at Topaz.

She'd heard about the new weapon for Seekers, a gun that could shoot a patch that would knock out a human in five seconds flat, as long as it touched skin. Water repellant and heat resistant, the patch had been a phenomenal success.

Topaz wondered if the Seekers knew that humans had them too.

Slowly Topaz's knees failed and she knelt on the plant covered ground, closing her eyes and falling to her side. Numbness spread through her body and she felt oddly cold, not drifting off like the Sleep mist medicine made her do.

Rolled over, Topaz pushed her eyes open and looked into the silvery grey.

The soul Wanda was leaning over her and holding her head up from the ground like she actually cared about Topaz. Her voice was concerned but not shocked enough to make Topaz believe that she hadn't known the Sleep patch was coming, "Can you tell me your name?"

"T-topaz." Shivering, she didn't care that her name would tell her story. Perhaps it would make the soul let the humans kill her. Then at least there would be no danger of Topaz hurting the gentle grey eyed soul the next time she blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

So thanks for the beautiful reviews, I love both of you (haha) and I hope you can forgive me for the mistakes I made but ones I am now fixing.

* * *

Chapter Two

Topaz felt strange. She was still in a human body, one that was perfect and glowing with pure health, but it was-

Memories filled her head. Falling into some kind of underground town of humans, meeting the grey eyed soul called Wanda. Topaz saw it again and she knew that she'd been taken out of her body but then put back in. Having the last memory projected into the next soul was standard, gaining the memories just as a background was normal.

These memories were ones Topaz didn't want, even if they were hers in the first place.

Sitting in a dark basement, tied to a dentist chair so she couldn't look away from the tv that played movie after horrifying movie. He had shown her so many things, gettting worse and worse until she'd been forced to watch movies with words such as saw and massacre. In all her lives she'd never been forced to see violence, even though she'd commited some herself.

Souls thrived on goodness and beauty. Blood and punishment was not the soul way, one didn't hurt another thinking creature intentionally.

Opening her eyes to banish the thoughts of her past, Topaz looked up at the black drapes over a dirt ceiling, the edges seeping light that mixed with the fake lantern light distributed evenly around the room. Topaz was laying on a cot, covered with a soft blanket like the kind the shuttles would give you on a night ride. Next to her, head propped on her hand, the soul with light grey eyes slept.

Her head clear of the bruised pain she'd had when they'd first met, Topaz studied the woman with a critical eye. She was more of a girl actually.

Wanda was a golden haired, freckle nosed, silver skinned woman who looked about twenty at the most. She had tiny shadows under her eyes, telling of the hours she'd spent working on whatever it was her frail little body did for a living. Her clothes were worn, dusty but not ripped like Topaz's-

Suddnely Topaz realized that her clothes had been exchanged for a soft white shirt and short denim shorts. Her hair was braided loosely, her skin clean. Wishing that the marks on her insides could be erased just as easily, Topaz took a deep breath of the dry desert air.

Instantly the soul's eyes snapped open, grey clarity lying in their depths making Topaz think that she'd never been asleep in the first place.

"Hello Topaz."

Finding her tongue slowly, she swallowed then reponded, "Wanda."

"Do you want to know what you're doing in a rebel human hospital ward?"

Nodding her head didn't have any affect so Topaz said slowly, "I'd like to know if you would tell me."

Wanda stood and a flurry of activity exploded from the doorway. Striding quickly into the room was a pair of tiny girls, the telltale silver behind their eyes, both perfectly identical. Brown hair brushed their backs in long pigtails, four black eyes studying Topaz curiously.

Behind them was the man named Jared, an older human with pepperd grey and white hair and a rifle, and a woman with sharp black eyebrows and an attractive face. The twins carried with them a white board and several different colored markers.

The two twin girls left the room quickly and Topaz was left alone with the humans, as well as Wanda.

Over the next half hour Topaz learned of the rebel cell of humans who'd hid in the tunnels for six years before finding the grey eyed Wanda. She'd introduced to them the idea of capturing souls and taking the humans back, sending the souls away to planets where they'd be too late to stop a revolution if one ever happened. The five years had seen a tripling in the human population; now the tunnels of the mountain containing almost two hundred humans who all lived with the equal serving society they'd created.

Or the society that the pepper haired old man called Jeb had created with his gun and his words that were law because it was "his house".

Topaz had been taken out of her body as she'd guessed. Their explanation for why she was back in the body made Topaz tangle her fingers together in shame. The baby girl that had been born hadn't been fully developed so she'd disappeared. She was gone so Topaz was to live among the humans.

Because she'd murdered a defensless baby she had been sentenced to live among violent humans for the rest of her life.

Topaz decided it was a fitting punishment, worse then death. Death was quick and painful but life among humans was bound to be long, hard, and joyless. And when her life term came to an end she would die and be buried inside her host.

Wanda finished explaining the chore system and looked at her, "Do you agree to become a native Topaz?"

Topaz nodded her head cautiously. Now that she wasn't going to die, she didn't want to sign on for anything that she didn't want. The chores and work and danger of native living appealed to her, but there was the worry of blacking out. If she blacked out then someone could get hurt.

Wanda didn't notice her internal battle, "Welcome to Jeb's Refuge then." She turned to face the man who apparently ruled the camp, "Do you know if you have time to-"

"I don't reckon I do but Jaimy can show my newest guest around. He's been dying for a new responsibilty something awful."

Wanda blinked. Then she slowly began to shake her head, "I'm not so sure giving him an newbie that's the same age as him is a good idea-"

"Let the boy grow up already. You, you, and you all baby him." Topaz frowned. Why would Wanda, Jared, and Mel coddle a boy who was her age? Topaz was seventeen. This Jamiy had to be anywhere from her age to twenty.

The three people looked down at the ground and didn't say a word as Jeb turned to Topaz with a twinkle in his eyes, "Now you can get up and come follow me. I'll give you the tour until we get to the cafeteria, and then I'll leave you there to go an' fetch Jaimy."

Wanda slid her arms under Topaz's shoulders and lifted her up to a sitting position. Topaz wondered at how it could feel like she'd switched bodies even though she hadn't. Maybe she was still connecting to everything. Topaz had found out from a Healer that she had a hard time connecting to her host, mainly because she's spent so long on a different world and a completely opposite body. Seventeen years had given her enough time to connect almost as well as most souls did when they were first inserted. Now she'd been taken out and those deep connections had been destroyed.

It was a subtle difference, the whisper of air over her skin unfelt while the slide of cotton barely registered with her sense. Luckily the scents on the air seemed to be dull enough that she wouldn't miss anything even if she didn't connect all the way for a while.

Swinging her legs over the side of the cot, Jared took her arm and pulled her up with a big callused hand that made her flinch. Slightly dizzy from the impact of a sudden flashback and from the blood rushing away from her head, Topaz took a moment before she nodded that she was ready.

Walking out of the hospital wing with Jeb's three advisors behind her, Topaz followed behind in Jeb's steady gait. Near the hospital ward were four seperate rooms, two on either side of the the hallway.

Jeb pointed them out, "Those are the maternity rooms. Newly carved out of the hallway and fitted with tile flooring and plaster walls. Doc - you'll meet him later - demanded private rooms when a baby was born at the same time a soul was brought in to be turned human. The most sanitary place under my roof."

Topaz heard the gentle hushing inside one of the rooms and she blinked, they had babies being born when they were a rebel human camp? Were the babies planned?

From behind her she listened as Jared spoke, "It was more because we wanted our wives to know they'll have privacy Jeb. Mel and Wanda won't be a show for the whole room to see."

Mel scoffed at him and linked arms with Wanda, "Men and their pride. What happens if we give birth at the same time and we want to be together? The rooms are too small to have more than one mother and a doctor and the both of you."

"We'll knock out a wall. One bed will face one wall, the other will face in the opposite direction and you can hold hands without embarrassing your husbands for life." His answer was prompt and Topaz got the feeling that he'd thought about the possibility before.

"Make sure you talk to Doc before though, wouldn't want to do something he'd not like. He's prouder of those rooms then he is of his new wife." Jeb's wry voice floated back to them, and Topaz raised her eyebrows. These humans were so strange, teasing and bantering. Wondering why Mel and Wanda would want to be together, and wondering why Jared was so willing to do anything for his wife, Topaz let the questions fill up her head but go unanswered.

Jeb caught her attention again as they stepped out of the hallway and into a rather tall and wide tunnel. Passing back and forth with easy strides, the humans there didn't seem to see Topaz. Several of them waved and tried to stop for a chat with Mel or Jared before Jeb gave them a stern eye that sent them on their way down the tunnels.

It was a rugged beauty, orange walls slopping in a multicolored striped pattern down. Lanterns had been hung on iron hooks screwed into the walls, only a few used to light up the wide area. Shadows danced with the shadows of the humans walking by and Topaz marveled at how they seemed to be dancing across the walls. There was a breeze here, still arid and dusty hot, but her bangs brushed away from her face in a pleasant fluff that left her see better.

"Lazy folks, try to take any opportunity to stop their chores and chat up with the nearest bystander." A fit of coughing burst out from behind Topaz's head and she frowned slightly, as did Jeb. He continued speaking, louder to be heard over the noise, "Follow me and I'll point out a few things. Jaimy will show you everything from up close, but right now I'm finding myself anxious to get back to work." More coughing, along with several smothered laughs.

Topaz half smiled when she relaized Jeb was making a joke. The expression felt wrong, Topaz let it drop when she remembered her vow to live her life as a penance for her crimes. Jeb continued onward and she made herself stay calm as the massive caves just seemed to get bigger and bigger.

There was a gym, filled with simple hand weights and inflated excercise balls, as well as roll up yoga mats and compact equipment. Several men and women were inside the room, sweating in the dry air but smiling as they each did their own routines. Topaz remembered her own gym, an air conditioned state of the art facility with multiple copies of any machine she could have wanted.

Jeb showed her the three corridors of living areas, one for single people, one for couples, and one for families. All the rooms had a variety of doors; curtains, propped up doors, carpets. It was how people told which room was which. Apparently Jamiy would show Topaz her room when he was giving her a detailed tour.

The kitchen was closer to the surface, cracks in the ceiling letting light illuminate the different wooden platforms placed on the flat surfaces near a large stone oven. What surprised Topaz was the array of battery run modern kitchenware. There was a microwave, two coffee makers, and several toasters. In the earthen room the hard metal and brand names looked out of place.

The three people who'd been following them stayed behind in the kitchen, muttering something about lunch break before a shift began.

Jeb proudly led her to an off tunnel, "I had this carved out when our number hit fifty, a man has to have his eating space doesn't he? This place can seat close to two hundred fifty if we pack it, but somehow I think my house won't ever get that many members." Stepping onto stairs built with rough bricks, Jeb led her down. The sound of a river reached Topaz's ears, growing louder the farther they decended.

Stepping onto the lowest level of the caves, Topaz looked up and her jaw dropped open in astonishment. A room with wood floors and plaster walls stretched out in front of her, the size of half a football field. Taking up most of the floor space were nicely built wooden picnic tables, the seats facing to a small stage with a podeum and white board. Lanterns hung from the ceiling on long ropes, one every five feet.

Sitting in rough groups, dirty humans talked together with smiling faces like they weren't the last of a dying breed. In a far corner Topaz frowned at the clump of pleasant faced people, most of them eating their food in silence with an occasional exchanged look. As Jeb led her across the room Topaz realized the corner crowd was populated by souls.

"Now you get yourself some food and we'll get our young Jaimy so he can show you around. These old bones of mine can't handle it quite right nowadays." He turned and quickly disappeared.

Jeb's Camp was an odd place, souls and humans living together. Or alongside each other, if the seperation between the souls and the humans in the cafeteria was any indication of their feelings for each other. Just like highschool. Cliches stuck together and didn't mix with the other cliches. If they did it was precursor for trouble.

Topaz was so sunk in thought that she didn't notice someone had walked up to her until a hand fell lightly on her shoulder.

"Ah!" Jumping up, she clapped her hands over her mouth when a moment of silence passed over the entire room as they looked over at her. Conversation started up again quickly but Topaz was mortified, cheeks blushing deep red.

"Sorry about that. I'm Jamie Stryder."

Topaz looked up and her heart constricted.

He looked like a very male version of Mel, his hair cut short and spiked up in front. Along his bicep he wore a black tattoo tribal ring, the interlocking lines cirlcing all the way around. His clear eyes stared down at where Topaz was sitting, a half grin on his face. Sticking out his hand, Topaz took it and let him pull her up to her feet.

"Um... I'm Topaz."

A full grin flashed, "Now that's not exactly a name I've heard from souls before. Sweeping Sunlight, Petals to the Moon, Night Singer. But Topaz could almost be a human name." He frowned slightly to himself then said quickly, "That's cool, not meant to be an insult or anything."

Topaz didn't really know how to respond, it was hard to talk to someone when you couldn't look at them without your heart lurching sickeningly. But he was drop dead gorgeous. In no way did he fit what Topaz had thought a human should look like. He was clean, strong, and his eyes were kind.

"Are you ready to go on the tour?"

Topaz looked up and nodded.

As Jamie turned around Topaz beat herself internally. What was wrong with her? High school had been full of guys like Jaimy, gorgeous and strong looking. Topaz had ruled over them, the prom queen crown being placed on her head before she'd even finished sophomore year. It wasn't probelm, talking to good looking guys. As the queen of the high school, she'd had no trouble at all

But of course Jamie was different. All souls were gentle and kind, not a hint of deceit or malice having ever touched their lives. Out here in the Arizona desert it was bound to be difficult, living in caves making it even harder. Looking at Jaimy was so difficult because Topaz had no idea what he would do. Soul boys were easily figured out, human boys were new territory.

Topaz wasn't so sure she could make it through the territory and stay alive.

"So I'll just show you your room first. As we move through the camp you'll be given stuff and then you'll know where you can take all your things back to." His voice was full of emotion; pride for his home, easy humor with his own words, but mostly Topaz heard the half forced friendliness. She was a stranger and Jeb had probably told Jaimy to treat her like an old friend. Jeb had the nack for making one feel like a lost best friend, Topaz hadn't felt like his talking to her was a chore.

Maybe it was just nervousness but Topaz heard Jaimy's discomfort.

Stretching out his arm, he gestured for her to follow as they quickly passed out of the kitchens, "We call the biggest hallway the heart. All the tunnels sprouting off have different nicknames too, like the living areas are the veins. Families vein, singles vein, and the couples vein. The hospital tunnels are called the... well the hospital." He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled as he stepped through the working people traveling through the 'heart'. "I guess you've seen the ward as well as the maternity rooms. Jeb told me he showed you. Earlier." Suddenly he broke off and Topaz got the feeling that she was supposed to speak, but she couldn't think of what to say.

Trailing after him as he exited into a 'vein' that Topaz assumed was the singles tunnel, she peered at the variety of different doors. When she heard a baby's cry from within a room to her left she blinked, "What vein is this?"

Jaimy started and then smiled brilliantly, "The family vein."

Topaz frowned, "Am I going to stay here?"

His smile disappeared into a scowl, "Young adults have to room across from the room of a family. The adults don't want the teenagers to get in trouble before they've hit twenty-two. We all have to be in our rooms at a certain time and such." He scowled even harder, "Even if you're an adult by human standards you have to wait until you're twenty two to shift over. Dumb rules if you ask me, but it's Jeb's house."

Topaz didn't respond and they fell into silence as he led her farther and farther down the vein. Many of the walls were bricked together with dusty red brick, the farther along they got the steeper the floor sloped and the more the walls were constructed.

"Why do the walls change?"

Again he jumped but not so much, his answer coming easily after along moment of thinking, "This part of the vein is newer than those ones. The family vein is the original tunnel while the singles and couples veins are completely new. Jeb made us brick up the walls because the lava tunnels hadn't sealed the walls like it had everything else." He patted a wall and winced in memory, "That was a lot of work, let me tell you. I think I still have concrete in my hair somewhere."

Topaz sighed and pulled her braid over her shoulder, twisting the end of it around her fingers. Jamie stopped talking, instead just ambling down the vein like he owned it - which, judging by the amount of people who had high fived him as he made his way through the heart - he did. Finally he stopped and Topaz realized, while the left side of the vein continued to have curtains, the right side stretched down with empty rooms.

"This will be your room. You're lucky because we just got in a new store of decorations and the newest camp members get first pick, especially if you have nothing. Sorry about the bad light, we'll get some lanterns down here for you. The room number is FR-16." As he ducked into the dark room he explained, "Family vein, right side, sixteenth room." A flash of light made the room light up, the purple hue from the tiny light making the room appear softer than it was.

Sticking her head in the room and taking in the stark space, Topaz was vaugley surprised by how much she liked it. A ceiling that was probably only a foot higher than Topaz's 5'5 height, it's surface roughly scraped on concrete. To the left of the door rested a bare cot and tv dinner foldout table with a tiny lamp sitting on top, the light on the brightest setting. Directly across from her were three wide diagonal shelves that had been dug out from the ground, big indents in the wall. Wood planks had been pushed into the shelves to create a clean storage space for things she didn't have. It was nicer than Topaz had expected, considering she was underground and in a fugitive colony of humans.

"Follow me and I'll take you to GAFS."

Topaz nodded and left the room, letting Jamie lead her again. Instead of just being silent she thought about the room. With blankets, a pillow, and maybe a little rug she could make the room quite homey. If there was a chance that she could get a mirror and some extra sheets then she'd be able to hide the rough grey brick walls. Topaz didn't want or expect anything fancy, but if she could then she'd make her room into a home she would live in for the rest of her life.

The trip went faster with her thoughts occupied by inner interior designing, Jamie's occasional word pointing out a few things Topaz needed to know.

There was a bathing area as well as latrines, their tunnel nicknamed the Rivers. The floors has been redone with concrete as well. Mossy fishing nets were secured to the floor by massive nails, hanging over large holes in the bathroom area floor in case anyone ever fell. Jamie didn't explain why the nets were so large and firmly put down but an expression of sadness crossed over his features so Topaz didn't ask. The rushing waters below looked hot and fast, Topaz knew currents like that could kill a person if they fell in.

Along with the Rivers, the camp had a gameroom with soccer nets and many lanterns hung on hooks in the walls. Half of the room was blocked off with the plastic half walls of a children pen, small toddlers tumbling over the plastic play-sets and screaming their pleasures and displeasures to the world. Outside the daycare area there was a large multi-purpose field with other kids running around. Several children played with a kickball, the smiling faces seemingly out of place in the harsh environment. Along the furthest Topaz glimpsed the two soul twins she'd seen earlier, their eyes downcast as they sat at a far goal. Jamie led her away before she could ask why they weren't included in the children's game.

Finally they reached the GAFS vein. Topaz had to walk with her hand on Jamie's shoulder because the tunnel was darker than tar. Soon they reached the well lit but oddly shaped shelved room. It looked more like a hastily built shopping center, boxes and food in one corner with materials and clothes in another.

Jaimy began piling her arms with things, "You'll need blankets, a pillow, and a foam - that's kinda our version of a mattress but it's light and hideable. You'll need to get a loofa, towel, and here is a toothbrush," He handed her the squishy pink loofa, along with a semi-new towel and a toothbrush still in the pack, "And last of all her is a comb... I don't really know what else you need..." He shrugged and gestured to the GAFS and said, "Look around and get what you'd like." As if realizing that she couldn't with her arms full of things, Jaimy took her supplies and went to stand in the near darkness of the doorway.

Turning to the materials in front of her, Topaz hesitated. When he'd told her to grab what she wanted he'd obviously meant for her to grab what she needed. There were things in the GAFS that she could use to turn her room into a palace, but Topaz couldn't use them. Wouldn't use them.

Instead of going for the room decorations, Topaz headed for the clothes hanging on the circular metal rings just like they would in a normal store. Checking sizes and quality, Topaz grabbed three pairs of denim shorts and several different colors of tank tops. It was easy to snatch up a pair of baby blue flip flops as well, even though she'd been going bare foot all day. A package of hair ties and a container full of a variety of clips were added to her quickly growing pile of claimed items.

Turning to the room supplies, Topaz tried to keep a clear head.

First, her "door" was a heavy dark blue velvet curtain, the added sparkle of a bead curtain making sure that she would never be snuck up on. Figuring that the crumpled baby blue sheets in the back of the shelf weren't very wanted, she grabbed those as well. A pillow case made of slightly worn black cotton caught her eye and she greedily snatched it too.

Before she could turn away, she spotted a knee high white book case leaning against an unvarnished pale wood stool. Dumping her things into the diagonal shelf, she was beginning to turn away when she spotted a circular grey rug, half rolled up and crushed underneath a heavy box of honey jars. Tugging it out was difficult but she couldn't walk away until the run was added to her pile.

Making her way back to Jamie, Topaz suddenly spied what was next to the door, half covered in a dusty white sheet. She saw what she really wanted.

It was a senseless object, antique and fitting in with the rustic settings of the camp like a kitten would fit in with a pack of wild wolves. A layer of dust so thick that Topaz was just a blurry shadow lay across the reflective surface, like it had been put down and forgotten. An iron frame with delicate roses as a border around the dusted glass made the mirror elegant. Looking at it, Topaz stopped and felt a moment of utter elation.

Jaimy saw her expression as well as where she was looking.

"You want the mirror?"

Topaz blushed, "I don't need it or anything, and I don't want to stare at myself for hours-"

"Finally! That thing has been sitting there for three years, tripping us up when we come home with supplies. Wanda won't let us throw it out but every time we try to stack things up it gets in the way. The thing takes up wallspace and we can't fit anything in on that stretch of wall." He looked at her like she was doing him a huge favor. Topaz felt guilty and she wondered why he couldn't tell that she was just being greedy, "Would you really take it for your room?"

Topaz looked at it and felt a wanting so deep that she shivered slightly, although she responded as lightly as she could, "I'll take it if you can get it there. I don't think I'd be able to... carry it." She lamely finished her sentence as he handed off her bed things to her, his arms flexing as he bent over and hefted the thing over his back. One arm holding it from beneath and the other keeping it touching his neck, Jamie grunted slightly.

"Let's go."

Now Topaz listened to his breathing and followed that, carefully lifting her feet with everystep she took so she wouldn't trip. When they entered the light she glanced over at Jamie she was forced into dumb-witted admiration.

His face was screwed up in concentration, a sheen of sweat making her realize just how heavy the iron framed mirror probably was. His arms were all muscle, bulging out so Topaz felt the oddest urge to reach out and poke him. He looked like his muscles made him hard, but was he? With a slight blush staining her cheeks as they entered the family vein again, Topaz walked ahead of him and got to her room first. Setting her cargo down on the cot, she ducked her head out into the vein only to dive back in to avoid making him stumble as he shifted the mirror through the doorway.

"Where do you want it?"

Topaz watched as he set it down, a satisfied grin on his face as he looked to her for directions. Quickly pointing at the wall to the left of the door, she watched as he scooted the mirror into place. Sadly it was half an inch too tall so it had to be half propped on the wall. As soon as it was set in place and Jamie nodded in accomplishment, grabbing the hem of his shirt.

"This is so dusty, let me clean it off for you-"

"Oh no, don't ruin your shirt. Here, use this." Topaz turned around and was faced with a half naked male who could have made a sculpture cry with envy. In his hand was clenched the t-shirt he'd been wearing just a few seconds before, the cotton hovering an inch over the mirror surface. His sculpted chest was only covered by a light sheen of sweat.

Topaz blinked, "Oh wow, you didn't have to take off your shirt-"

"I was going to do my laundry anyway. You might as well get it really dirty for me. Oh! And here's some water." He took a thin metal canteen out of his trouser pocket, soaking the t-shirt before Topaz could protest further.

Taking the shirt, Topaz gingerly whiped away a single streak of dust in the center of the mirror. What she saw made her freeze in surprise.

Reflected in the two inch wide strip of mirror was Topaz's face, the face she'd known since implantation.

Tanned skin, beachy blonde hair, emerald blue eyes. What made her freeze was the luminesent quality to her skin, like she'd been sick. The shadows under her eyes were barely visible so she didn't think Jamie - or anyone else - would have noticed, but maybe that why Wanda had looked at her with such concern? Had Topaz really gone around the whole day looking like a sick child?

Forcing herself into motion, she quickly finished cleaning off the mirror until it was slightly wet but perfectly reflective and clean. A dry corner of the shirt served as a good final touch, ensuring that the surface wouldn't streak.

Meeting Jaimy's eyes in the mirror, Topaz said, "Thank you for helping me."

He grinned cockily, "It was no problem, honestly I barely broke a sweat. Besides, this is the first time I've seen my full reflection since I was thirteen." He rubbed his chin and stared in the mirror, lost in thought for a long moment before chuckling, "I've changed a little since then."

Topaz looked at her small form next to his and felt disappointed that she had lost her tones muscles. Now she just looked skinny and short. Bobbing her head, she agreed with him rather lamely, "That happens sometimes, you know, that whole thing about growing up and all."

Suddenly a sound faintly sounded outside in the hallway, like a robotic bird. Jaimy's head shot up and he turned on his heel. Just before he disappeared from the room he turned back around, "Sorry, I've gotta go. Chore time and all that. If you need anything then Wanda and Ian are just across the vein, with Jared and my sister in the room next to them. Wanda is the cloudy curtain while Mel is the screen covered in leaf shapes. I'm in the room right next to you, I'll be back later to show you to dinner."

He left but then popped back in the room again, "There's a few books in my room if you'd like to read something. Yeah... um, I'll come back and get you for dinner Topaz. See you."

Waiting for a long minute, her shoulders slumped when she realized he was truly gone.


	3. Chapter 3

So I've edited this and I'm fairly sure it's better - to those of you reading who never saw the old version, I never edited it and I just wrote these words in a flurry of passion and inspiration like all famous writers do. So this scene is one of my favorites, I hope you enjoy it as well.

* * *

Chapter Three

Sitting on the cot with her feet up on her little stool, Topaz looked around at her room like a mother would look on a newborn baby.

The shawls had been able to hook onto gaps in the brick walls, stretching across the wall and making the room look like it was a middle eastern tent. Her cot was tucked neatly with the the various blankets on the foamy pad, the black pillow propped up on the wall. The top blanket was the color of a bluebonnet petal with the picture of a black butterfly stitched clumsily in the middle. Her mirror reflected the bed and part of the ceiling.

All in all the room looked much nicer than Topaz had thought it could, her guilty pleasure making her hold in her smile. The continuous blue drawn throughout the room with the rug, blankets, and shawls made it seem cold, even if the heat in the room was arid and stifling. The mirror made it more civalized. With the velvet curtain drawn across the door, Topaz filtered out the noise from the Refuge.

From the outside she knew what her room would look like, a dark curtain with a curtain of clear crystal beads that made her seem like a frivolous girl. In truth she'd been a boldly dressed girl who'd quietly ruled at the high school, her clothes and room filled with true reds and greens, bright yellows and oranges.

Sitting on her cot and admiring her handiwork, Topaz wondered if she could borrow a book.

... No.

Jaimy was a boy and therefore he had a boy's room, meaning Topaz was not to go inside and enter his personal space. Mrs. Ore had told her that much. Boys had their space and girls had theirs, in order to mix you had to go into eating areas or public venues. As much as she wanted the comfortable escape of a book, Topaz wouldn't trespass to get it.

Ah well, she was comfortable anyway.

Inside her chest something twisted and she let her face fall into her hands. Shame twisted like a snake in her stomach, sticking in her throat like a big black beetle.

Hadn't she promised herself that she would die? Hadn't she agreed to stay in the camp because it was to be more horrible than dying would be, that she could atone for her sins? Now she was decorating her room with a mirror and shawls, sitting on her comfy bed and debating about whether to get a book from a boys room or not? How could Topaz just forget about what she'd done?

She'd killed a man not more than two days before! With a shovel! His blood had soaked her shirt and dried on her skin, the blisters from the shovel were still on her hands!

Was it because she'd been taken out of her host? Topaz had known that even after sixteen years of life on Earth, she was very clearly not connected all the way. Her body, her real body, didn't know how to find the nerves - her Comforter had suggested that she get a treatment of physical stimulation, another words that she let someone touch her to get her nerves going.

But Topaz had never wanted to be connected to her body. She'd had one treatment - with terrifying results.

_"I hope you can make it back soon Topaz." _

Hotter Waters called after her as she shut the door, her smile wide and happy.

Holding her phone in her hand, she tugged her purse up higher on her shoulder so she could text with both hands. On the phone the message from Deep Dancer beeped and she opened it up, starting on the sidewalk from the Comforter's house.

The wind whispered across her skin and she grinned even wider, enjoying the stronger feeling. Hotter Waters had been right, the massaging treatment had worked like he'd said. Topaz could smell stronger, feel the softer touches, and she felt like her skin was tingling with alive.

Walking up the path to the Orphanage, Topaz opened the door and inhaled the smell of cookies made with Mrs. Ore's homemade dough. Smiling at the thought, she practically skipped up the stairs to her room. Once inside the bright orange room with the shelves full of her stuffed animals, she dropped her purse and pressed play on the radio.

Turning around to shut the door, Topaz grinned and started singing along-

Something was tickling her face. Topaz shifted her head and winced at the soreness in her arms when she tried to push herself up, but her hands shifted in... cotton?

Opening her eyes, the sunset's light bled in through the window and Topaz blinked at the sight it illuminated. In her hair, on her clothes, twisted around her fingers was strung out cotton strands. Sitting up, she gasped in horror. The head of her favorite teddy bear lay on the ground next to her, the stuffing pulled out so it was half flattened.

Looking around she cried out softly at the terrible massacre of stuffing and animal toy parts before her. The toys were all mutilated, pulled apart and never able to be fixed. But in the middle of the mess was the barbie doll, dressed lovingly in a copper dress with her hair styled in a complex fishtail. She sat upon the biggest pile of stuffed animal remains, head tilted at an angle as she looked at where Topaz was laying.

Sitting among her decimated possessions, Topaz realized slowly that she had been the one to destroy the things she loved. Topaz had torn and shredded ever single toy she'd ever had to bits, all but for the copper dressed barbie sitting in the remains.

_And she hadn't remembered any of it._

Blackout.

What a simple term for such a terrible thing. She hadn't gone back for another treatment, filling her time by joining the cheer-squad, competing in traveling gymnastics tournaments. Hotter Waters had believed her when she'd told him that she felt completely in touch with her host. That had been a lie. At first she'd thought that the blackouts would go away but then she'd gotten the second one, rampaging through a garden that she'd meant to fix for a personal project. The third time she'd ended up in the back of a white van, tied up and ending up with Him.

And so she'd had a fourth one, this time not destroying a garden or toys but a human.

As she'd been walking up the mountains of Arizona there had been several times where she'd been walking along one ridge just to end up walking a mile ahead, in a place she didn't recognize. She'd ended up at the bottom of the cliff the unknownth time and she had decided that she hadn't cared. Topaz had climbed and intended to jump off.

That blackout would have been her last, she wouldn't have woken up.

What Topaz hadn't forseen was falling, not off the cliff but into a camp of wild humans. Now she was sitting on foamy cot looking at her homey little room.

Homey.

Home.

Where she'd lived she'd been just another soul. A Fire Planet soul, one who'd lived there for life term after life term of killing defenseless creatures. She'd been a reject in all the ways that a soul could be, a soul who didn't belong in the society of peace and kindness that had entangled with human emotions of distrust and judgement. The orphanage had never been a home for her.

Topaz had been inserted into a baby who's single mother had just died from a violent act of wild humans still left in the area. Topaz had been an orphan from the very beginning, before she'd ever even been taken out of the cryotank. Of course she'd been loved and taken care of just like every other soul, but it wasn't the same without parents. Topaz had always been different, not only because she was one of the thirty orphans in soul society but because of her past lives.

But being happy was something that made her wonder if she'd begin to have blackouts again. Her hope was that because she'd been taken out of her host then she'd have fifteen peaceful years.

Looking up as the beads shivered, Topaz blinked in shock as Wanda stuck her blonde fairy head in the room with a smile on her face, "If you don't mind I'd like to talk to you."

Topaz nodded, "Sure, but isn't something going on-"

"There a camp meeting going on, more of a soccer tournament really. Jamie told me that he'd left you in here because you had things to set up, but he was worried so he asked me to look in on you. But I wanted to talk to you anyway." Her big grey eyes looked innocent and happy. Topaz envied her slightly. So happy, with a baby on the way and a husband - even if everything around her was of the human culture.

Lifting her feet off the stool so Wanda could sit, Topaz watched as the soul looked around the room with a half smile on her face, "It's pretty. I've noticed that souls make their rooms beautiful whereas the humans only take what they need to get by. You've done well."

"Thank you... I tried not to take too much but..."

"In a world so harsh as this one you've been brought into, we souls often forget what beauty is. It's good that you've captured some in your room before you forget how to create it." Glancing around again she half smilled and asked, "Did you ever live with the Bears?"

"No... I spent my lives somewhere else." It was a poor deflection but Wanda seemed to accept it easily enough, she nodded and looked down at her hands. For a long minute there was silence, the kind that only being underground and far away from a crowds could create.

She looked up at Topaz, "Are you happy here Topaz?"

Dropping her eyes away, Topaz spoke quietly but honestly as only a soul could, "When I first got here I thought of it as a punishment for... something else but, while I've only been here for a while, I think I'll be happy here. It's peaceful and Refuge seems to be a simple place."

A moment of silence then Wanda asked, "Why were you on the mountain Topaz?"

Topaz sealed her lips and studied her toes, which were dusty and in need of some polish - not that Topaz thought they had nail polish here. Could she hide her secrets from Wanda? The blonde was almost a human she was so smooth, it was unusual for a soul to be so charismatic. Topaz didn't trust it.

Her voice suddenly burst out, frantic and worried just like her hands as they rubbed her slightly rounded stomach as if to hush the unborn child, "Did you know about the camp? Were you looking for-"

Topaz's head shot up in surprise, "No! I was... hiking." She was a bad lier and Wanda wasn't fooled, although most souls would have been. Trying again, Topaz said a half lie, "I wasn't looking for anything, I just wanted to get higher. I saw the crack in the mountain and I wanted to check it out. Then the ground crumbled in and I landed at your feet." Her voice rang true, everything she'd said having been the truth. Topaz just hoped that Wanda wouldn't ask for why she'd been hiking in the first place.

Wanda looked at her for a long moment, "I guess we knew it would happen one day. That ceiling has been like that through a decade of monsoons, we knew it was unstable. I asked because Jeb is trying to hurry about fixing it, but what's the use if the souls knows where we are?"

Topaz nodded but then shook her head - but then she nodded again, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's better that it collapsed now rather than during a rainstorm. We wouldn't be able to fix it with gallons of water pouring down. The rains are coming in a week or two." Wanda stood and smiled at her before her grin faded to a frown, "Jaimy should be back in a few minutes. I'll be across the vein if you need anything, at least I will be until the night falls and then I'm leaving on a raid."

"Raid?"

Wanda laughed, "It's actually just a month long shopping trip where we hit all the groceries and stop by the department stores. The men like calling it a raid because it makes it sound dangerous. Truth is, it's dreadfully boring for them and often tedious for me."

Topaz nodded and the soul left the room, waving as she ducked through the beads. So it rained here, in the dry breathless desert of Arizona. Topaz shivered as she recalled the memory of watching movie after movie, the rainy nights stages for the horrors to unfold.

Topaz turned to her pillow and began pleating the material, closing her eyes and willing herself to push it away from her thoughts, as far as it would go.

She's failed.

Horror movies flashed through her head. The painted white face with the red circle cheeks, the rip of a chainsaw in the hands of a hockey masked man, the mad laughter of a surgeon covered in crimson. Guns blasting through the heads of human actors, the screams as they were chased out into the rain. Attacked on the footpath of a rained out hiking path, wild animals slashing and tearing-

"Topaz! I'm back and dinner is being served _earlier_ than usual." Jaimy's voice had her eyes open, the crashes and screams and crunches draining back into the recesses of her head. She caught the pillow as it landed back in her lap, smoothing it down on her knees as the beads were pushed aside.

The perfect face poking into the room, gleaming with sweat and flushed with what Topaz assumed was victory in the game he'd played. He took in the room in one sweep and whistled low, "Nice place." Topaz felt her heart stutter. flashing a neon smile, he jerked his head, "Come on, let's go before they run out of honey cornbread and the beans!"

"What's for dinner?" She asked, huffing slightly as she took yard long strides to keep up with him. He bounced with every step, smelling of male and sweat. The grin on his face was infectious and Topaz used it to firmly lock away the nightmares. Soon she was smiling too.

"Tonight we have beans, cornbread, and some of Cookie's amazing frog eye salad." He saw her face and laughed, "Don't worry, it's not real frog eyes. It's a salad of tiny noodle balls that look like frog eyes when they're cooked... or boiled. I don't cook... all I know is that it tastes incredible." He grinned cheekily and rubbed his belly in anticipation.

All Topaz could do was grin and concentrate on walking in a straight line.

Joining at the back of a small crowd that flooded out from the rest of the veins, Topaz was left to fend for herself when Jamie jumped to the front of the line. He slapped the backs of several other humans and settled down into talking over each other, pushing and shoving when one person hogged too much attention time. He looked back at her twice but each time he tried to slow down, one of his friends would knock him in the shoulder which would begin a tussling battle.

She watched him, smiling until he vanished - swallowed up by the tide of humans.

As she was about to stoop into a gloomy self pity session, suddenly she wasn't alone. On either side of her walked two souls. Their bouncy pigtails and small bodies didn't take away from the adult-like inteligence on their faces. The twins.

"Hello."

Using her babysitting skills, Topaz spoke quietly and brightly. They looked up at her from both sides and returned her smile carefully, responding in unison, "Hello."

"I'm Topaz. What's your name?"

"Hey."

"You."

Topaz blinked.

One soul had said "Hey." while the other had said "You." like they were answering her question. Looking at them, Topaz grew a horrified notion like a piece of mold on bread. Could it be... no... but they'd answered her so quickly that maybe...

Topaz asked slowly and with a calm she struggled to maintain, "When people call for your attention do they just say "Hey, you." and you answer them?"

They nodded and Topaz looked to the front of the crowd. Hide the wave of human unadulterated fury that rolled through her, she struggled to think clearly. Two little girls that were probably only six years old had no names. Or they thought their names were salutations because nobody used their names. How could the humans live alongside the souls and be so cruel? Topaz had seen the seperated eating group, the lonely little girls on the sideline during the children's game.

Something was wrong with refuge. Wanda had told her that souls and humans lived alongside each other. She had obviously lied. Humans who lived alongside two adorable little girls could not have forgotten the names, soul or not. When she'd shoved down the fury she looked back at the girls.

"Do you want different names?"

She nodded and told Topaz quietly, "I always liked June."

"And I like July."

"The summer is the only time we get to go outside and play, but only at night." They spoke every syllable at the same time, completely in tune with each other. Topaz would had thought it creepy but she guessed that the girls probably had very similar thinking processes, given that they didn't seem to play with others. When you were stranded by yourself, the experiences tended to get predictable.

Studying the one who liked June, comparing her with July, Topaz noticed the small dark brown mole next to June's mouth. July's skin was clear but for the tiny dusting of freckles across her nose, like stardust had been swiped over her skin. Nodding her head slowly she told them, "I am going to close my eyes and I need you both to switch sides, or stay on the same side. Just make sure that I think you've moved."

The pattering of feet signaled that they'd followed her directions almost without question, the sound stopping after a minute. Topaz opened her eyes and studied the girl on her left. No mole. Pointing gently, Topaz poked her in the shoulder, "July." Topaz did the same for the girl on her other side, "June."

They both looked down and she could see the confusion on their faces so she explained, "I think it is time you got a name for yourself. How long have you lived here with no names of your own?"

They looked at each other then back at her. Still in unison they told her, "We've always lived here. Mrs. Kreeny says we were stolen from an orphanage to check if a baby could be recovered after a souls been inserted. She says that they couldn't come back so we got to stay."

Her shock that the girls had been in the camp for six entire years without having real names was shocking but she didn't dwell on it. To dwell on that unpleasant topic would drive her mad. Topaz was going to fix it anyway so it didn't matter much. Next she asked, "Did you live on any other planet before Earth?"

"No. Our Mother was on Earth when she gave herself up. We are both truly seven and a half years old, both body and soul." They laughed in unison too and Topaz smiled with them, holding out her hands as they entered the kitchen. The tiny grips felt tentative but hopeful, just like their eyes as they kept them glued to her face.

* * *

If I missed anything then please let me know, review and tell me what you like and what you didn't. Thanks and I hope you'll have fun with the next chapter... it's a fun one :)


	4. Chapter 4

Fearing Fire

Chapter Four

Bustling humans moved from counter to overloaded counter, plates in the their hands that were filled with a variety of food groups. June and July led Topaz over to a table with blue spotted camping plates and bendy mass produced utensils from the human eras. They helped her get the meal, navigating through the crowd like they were used to having to dodge stray arms and feet. How many times she had to save her food from falling to the floor she didn't know. When Topaz finally made it out of the kitchen, going down the stairs with her plate, she was unprepared for the crowd in the cafeteria.

Obviously the camp could hide more people than Topaz had thought possible, the dining crowd below looked like four grade levels of students. Students who happened to be tired looking and mostly bearded or heavy chested, but they looked like students as they talked over and around each other. The sound level in the cafeteria sounded like a school too: shouting, yelling, and laughing. The floor actually hummed with the vibrations, the lamps hung over the tables twisted on their ropes.

June and July led Topaz along the edge of the room, heading for the table that was again occupied by strictly aliens. Souls were there now, their number reaching only fifteen at the most. Seeing June and July making their way along the wall, they instantly and silently made room. Topaz sat and began eating but the heavy cloak of silence that shrouded their table was disconcerting among the ruckus of the human tables. It grew so heavy that she felt like she was being crushed.

"Hi!" She spoke up suddenly and loudly enough that a few of the humans at the other tables turned around to stare at her. She continued, the wide eyes of the souls looking at her giving her the fire to plow through the quiet and say, "I'm Topaz. This is June and that is July. You can tell them apart because June has a mole next to her mouth. I am knew here but could I know all of your names?"

They looked at her with long blinking expressions before slowly going around in a circle, all their voices rusty and cracking as if they were never used.

"Shallow Waters."

"Deep River."

"Light Weaver."

All the way down then back up the table until she'd heard all of their names, not that she would remember them. But it gave Topaz the connection she needed to continue speaking with some bit of authority, her past as the queen of her grade level giving her public confidence.

Quietly speaking so the humans around them wouldn't be offended, Topaz asked them with a hard note in her voice to communicate her anger, "Why are the souls and human segregated?"

A blue eyed girl looked at her with surprise in her expression, "We aren't separated... well we are but not by force. It just happens that way. Humans don't feel comfortable around us. We have found it works better to just leave them be, to stay out of their way so they stay out of ours."

"Wanda doesn't stay out of their way."

She smiled fondly, "Wanda is a special soul. She's practically one of them. Besides, she's not a normal soul in the first place. She's lived nine different lives, she visited eight different planets including Earth. She was the first soul here, the one who convinced the humans not to just kill us all when they captured us."

"Why didn't they just kill her like the rest of the wild humans do?"

She leaned forward to point, "You see the black haired one with the blonde man?" Topaz nodded, "Well her name is Mel. She and Jared had fallen in love, but then Mel got captured. Wanda was inserted but Mel and Wanda shared their mind so Mel guided Wanda here. Jamie and Jeb ended up pulling over the rest of the humans to trust Wanda, and she was given a new body that had no human mind left in it." She leaned back and said, "Wanda taught the humans how to remove souls and they've spent the last five years getting their humans back. We are the only souls left who can't retrieve their humans. So we get to live out this life term and live with them."

She was confused by how Wanda could have kept Mel alive but she'd heard that adult hosts were hard to be put into so she didn't dwell on it too much. Instead she looked at June and July as they ate their food and frowned, "So why did June and July not have names if Wanda has gotten humans to accept souls?"

"The original humans did but they started getting their kind back and we've just let them find their loved ones again. June and July... I guess they just never minded." She shook her head, "We don't talk much so we didn't ever really think about each other's names. When the humans need us it is always "hey" or "you over there" because many of them don't know our names. I can't blame them, with so many new humans coming in every two months it's a wonder all the humans can remember all their own names."

"But I still don't understand, why are you segregated?"

She sighed and patted Topaz's hand, "It's not segregation. We belong with each other and they belong with their kind. Not segregation, we're just simply more comfortable this way."

Frowning harder, Topaz looked away and started eating. The food was good, Refuge was indeed a safe refuge, and the humans around them were happier that Topaz had ever thought a human could be. It didn't make sense that the souls who had to live here had to be silent drones wandering around because the humans "didn't feel comfortable with them" or whatever it was.

Topaz didn't like it.

She thought _she_ had problems. The souls who were captured with their hosts completely wiped out were sentenced to a life spent in silence. It was a prison - no, worse than prison. At least in prison everyone was miserable, and inmates deserved it Looking at the souls at the table, Topaz knew that most of them had probably been plucked out of their lives.

Knocked out during a Sunday walk, or maybe gardening in their backyard. Having a happy peaceful life of any regular soul then ambushed and dragged her. Waking up with the explanation that they had effectivly erased their host, like what souls were built to do was something they should be punished for.

The souls were brought her, put to work with the chore schedule and food at mealtimes - they even had a private bedroom. Wanda had said the souls brought in beauty to their lives, but Topaz wondered if it was only because that was their own little private joy. They had to live here. They had to work here.

Everyone of them was going to die here.

For souls who were supposed to never have a life expectancy, coming to the caves was like a long drawn-out death sentence. Working and striving to improve a place they weren't really welcomed in, then dying among people who wouldn't cry when they passed into the nothing that souls knew was there.

The more Topaz thought the harder she clenched her fork, the cheap metal bending and bending until she was eating with a right cornered ruined utensil. The souls at the table finished in quiet then all stood up as if it was a drill.

Dinner eventually ended and Topaz walked back to her room with the heavy thoughts pressing down on her shoulders, so heavy that she felt like her feet sank into the packed dirt floor of the caves. She so sunk in thought that she didn't notice the twins were following her until the beads on her door shivered more than they should have.

Topaz turned around, looking at them and very slowly whispering her worst fear as a question to the delicate children standing before her, "Do you have a room to stay in?"

They very slowly shook their heads.

Topaz's knees failed and she sat down on her bed, letting her head fall into her hands.

How could humans be so _cruel_? To let two little girls wander around without names, without a place to sleep, it was... Topaz didn't even have a word for it.

Remembering the man called Jeb, Topaz knew that he wouldn't have noticed. His head had been fully white, his eyes sparkling but lined with wrinkles. The gun he'd held had been aged and his hands had shook as he'd let the floor support most of the weight. Thinking of Mel, Jared, and Wanda she knew that they were so absorbed in the lives of the incoming humans that they probably hadn't noticed the quiet homeless little girls wandering around. After all, they'd been with the rest of the children during the day and they ate enough that they didn't look starved - what would call attention to them?

"Have you ever had a room?" Her voice shook, muffled by her hands.

"Yes. We used to sleep with all the other spare souls. But two years ago they enlarged the caves. Jeb moved everyone into the game room for a whole four months. When the caves were ready to move into it was chaotic and everyone was tense. We didn't want to bother them. We sleep in the gameroom most nights."

The humor of their being in sync didn't reach her brain, instead she felt terribly sad. Topaz sighed heavily and lifted her head out of her hands, letting them drop to her knees so she could look at them. Their black eyes looked at her, the silver ring shining so brightly there was no mistaking their nature. Clothes that Topaz now saw as creased hung on their bodies, dark colors of grey and brown. Jeans cut off because of holes were frayed, their shoes both worn and scuffed from walking.

"I will find beds for you for tonight. You _will_ have a bedroom by tomorrow morning, before breakfast time. If it's the last thing I do, I will get you a bedroom and clothes." Her voice was firm and she heard Mrs. Ore in her tones, that fact making her inwardly cringe. Pointing at the bed as she stood up, Topaz commanded them - gently but firmly, "Sit down and wait for me. I'll come back and the we'll go to sleep, all three of us together and on foam beds with blankets."

Stalking out of the room, Topaz took the short trip to the room next to hers with determined strides, not bothering to knock as she wacked away the bedsheet. Inside Jaimy was standing shirtless next to his bed, pajama pants loosely outlining his strong legs. His arm was holding several books against his chest, the worn covers almost falling off.

Topaz's heart thumped heavily but she didn't have time to oggle him.

Voice sharp and hiss-like, she stalked into his room, "Did you know there are two seven year old girls who don't have a room, even though they've been living here since they were kidnapped from their orphanage as babies? That they are homeless in a society of two hundred people?"

Jaimy spun around and his eyes widened as Topaz stepped right up to his chest, poking him hard in his rock hard bicep (to poke him in the chest would have been... well, she wouldn't have poked him there because of pure anger if she had to tell the truth). He opened his mouth and stuttered, "T-topaz, what are you doing in he-"

"Did you know they thought their name was "hey" and "you" because nobody in this place bothered to name them in the first place, or if they did their names were forgotten? Did you know that I have listened to them brush off what you and I know as rudeness, saying that the humans are more comfortable and that we souls should just stay out of their way?"

Jaimy closed his mouth and shook his head, backing away.

"Did you know that the souls that have completely erased their hosts are miserable not because they live here but because all the humans shun them? Oh sure, they don't admit it. I'm pretty sure a normal soul wouldn't know what the world for miserable would be considering it is a purely human emotion! Misery is not spread by souls because we take care of everyone!"

His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth.

Topaz's voice rose to a shout, "Did you know that being caught by the humans and then inserted back into your host because you did what you were made to do is a death sentence here? We had nothing to do with out hosts being erased but here it is punishable by death." She kept stepping closer to him until he hit the uncovered red brick wall, and still she yelled. "I think you humans are crueler than I was ever told. You've kidnapped souls out of their lives and told them that because they did what they're made to do they have to work until one day they die among people who could really care less about whether a soul dies or not! You've given them a life of slavery, waiting until they die and disappear, because they are a soul."

He opened his mouth.

Topaz yelled more before he could speak, "I've been here for a single day and yet I have seen more evidense of why souls were _right_ to take Earth from humans! Your kind is cruel! I know you'd pass it off as being preoccupied or some other bull, but I see straight through it all. You kidnap then let the souls work for you until the rot away and die! That is more cruel than anything a soul could have done-"

Jaimy's face changed and his slack jaw firmed to rock, "What do you know about what is cruel or not?"

He rolled off the wall, this time making her back away from him as he shouted furiously at her, "You don't know what it is to fight for your life every day! Of course humans don't _like_ souls, they took our live from us. Not only that but they kill our family and don't even have the decency to dispose of the bodies! Instead I see my cousins walking around with their smiles and then I realize that my cousin isn't even really there!"

His finger came up and hovered in front of her chest, "That is more cruel than anything a human could ever think of! Your kind might be made of silver and light, but you take away our family. I could have been anything I wanted but instead I am stuck in a cell because outside I would get killed because of what I am!"

"Your kind are killing my kind because of what we are!"

Jamie grit his teeth and said, "We give as good as we get - you kill us but do we kill you? No! We send off to another place so you can live your lives there!"

"But that's only if the soul was weak enough to be someone who didn't completely do their job! That's only if the soul was flawed and couldn't attach correctly! Then they get the reward of being able to live. It's the strong one you humans give a death sentence and work to death!" Suddenly Topaz stopped, her eyes widening at what she'd yelled.

Jamie didn't notice, "We do what we can to survive! Yes maybe there would be a better way, but until we find one this is the only way we can get our families back so that maybe we don't waste away until there's not a shred of humanity left on this planet!" He panted slightly, face flushed and angry.

Topaz was silent, shame filling her as she stared at the ground an felt his breath on her hair. The heat from his body pressed her against the wall, not touching her but keeping her trapped nonetheless. It was a long while before he calmed enough that the room was filled with only silence.

Heat filled her body, from his form in front of her and from the fire that had burned through her. It sank to her belly and she realized just how close she was to touching him, to being entirely swallowed by him. Her narrow bones and short body made it so that someone from the doorway probably wouldn't even be able to see her with him standing still. Luckily the bricks at her back were cool.

Tension stretched over her nerves, making her breathing quicken as she slowly raised her head to meet his gaze in shy apology. Blushing, she said, "I'm... sorry for barging in on your private quarters Jamie... I was very rude... I'm sorry..."

Jaimy stared at her with hard eyes and Topaz winced when he cuttingly remarked, "I thought all souls are supposed to be kind, compassionate, and pure. Guess not all of them."

Topaz's cheeks turned a darker shade of pink, "I was upset by the segregation in the cafeteria and then June and July came to me and told me they didn't have a bedroom. It was a little upsetting and I just blew up at you... I'm so sorry."

He leaned back a bit and she took a breath, still keeping her eyes fixed on his face to gauge his mood. There was a subtle loosening of his lips as he asked, "Who's June and July?" Within his voice there was a forced note of friendliness that Topaz was thankful he could lie well enough to achieve

"Two seven year old identical twins. They're souls who were kidnapped when they were infants to see if humans could be recovered that young. I learned of their homelessness when they followed me back to my room after dinner."

Now Topaz saw the surprise on his face as it outweighed the lingering defensive anger, "They've been here since they were babies and they don't have a room? How did that happen?"

She shrugged slightly, "They told me that when the newer tunnels were being dug out there was a lot of confusion and they didn't want to bother anyone afterwards."

Shock passed over his face and Topaz realized with a lightning bolt of guilt that he hadn't known anything about the two little girls. Standing in the middle of his room and realizing that she'd just screamed at a totally innocent man for a crime he hadn't committed, Topaz's shoulders slumped and she felt like crying.

Jamie was silent for a long time then, "Why did you come to me?"

Topaz blinked. Why had she come to him. Thinking back to the absence of welcoming from the humans, Topaz quietly confessed to him and herself, "You're the only one I know. All the other souls just told me to accept the segregation and go about my life as quietly as possible. I was going to until I found out that they were being treated like stay dogs. Then I just exploded. I figured you could... help me."

"Before or after you broke my ear drums?" He was half smiling now, but the joke was lost on Topaz as she felt like sinking into the ground and dying. How could she have yelled at the hottest boy in all of Refuge? If there had ever been a time she she felt ugly and worthless it was now.

Sobbing was a distinct possibility... nope, it was a reality. Tears tracked down her cheeks, the water filled with shame and disgust with her behavior.

Jamie's hand lifted her chin gently and he said, "I will help you. I would have as soon as I'd found out about the little girls being homeless." His eyes burned and Topaz found that she'd forgotten how to breath as she looked into the deep pools of emotion, "If you ever need help, I'm here. There's no need for yelling or anything else. I promise I'll never let you get hurt, so don't worry about coming to me if you have a problem."

Topaz sucked in a shallow breath and whispered, "Okay."

His thumbs tracked down the tears, wiping them away. But the callused pads of his thumbs didn't leave her jawline, instead his fingers straightened out to hold her neck. Topaz stared up at him and barely breathed, her blurry eyes clearing as she watched a fire spark in his gaze. The fire wasn't fueled by anger, instead it was heated by a different sort of passion.

Suddenly from the doorway came a wry laughing voice, "Now I know Jeb has outlined the rules for girls being in a boys room alone, I though you knew better Jamie."

topaz instantly turned red as Jamie dropped his hands like she'd burst into flames, she spun around to face the occupied doorway as she tried not to turn even redder. In the doorway was a wide chested man with deep blue eyes and black midnight hair. He was wearing a construction belt, a hammer and other supplies looking well used as they hung down his thigh.

"Ian! What're you doing here?"

The big man prowled into the room with a grin on his face as he rubbed his hands together, "I wanted to ask if you were open for building a cabinet for Cookie. Burn off some energy before bed. But I guess you found another way." He flicked his gaze onto Topaz, "Hey, I'm Ian O'Shea."

"T-t-topaz."

He chuckled, "She your girlfriend Jamie?"

They both spoke at the same time, Jamie saying, "We're not like that!" while Topaz hurriedly pressed, "I just met him today!" They realized at the same time _what_ they sounded like and stopped talking. The silence somehow made it seem worse than it had been.

Ian's laugh was deep, "Sure, sure. I'll just leave the two of you alone, even if I'm supposed to be the across-the-hall chaperone." He turned back for the door then called back easily, "Just make sure you don't get her in any _trouble_ Jamie." He slauntered out of the room and Topaz lifted her hands to her face, as if that could hide the fire red of her cheeks. Being blonde and white didn't do anything to hide a blush.

"So... about those beds for the girls." Jaimy quickly jumped into action, calling back as he left the room faster than the old human cartoon of the roadrunner bird, "You go to your room and I'll bring in bedding and stuff... clothes too."

Topaz did as he said, not wanting to have to look him in the eye to let him see the stunned wishfulness in her gaze. After all, she'd just met him. How could she be wishing that Ian O'Shea could have waited a few minutes to interrupt them?

* * *

Wasn't that fun? So Chapter Five will be coming in a bit, when I get it written and all polished up for both of you guys who like the story. Tell me if I got anything wrong, and if someone could shoot me a review telling me what color Jamie's eyes are that would be wonderful!

And please inform me if I missed any "Jaimy" instead of the correct "Jamie" because I can't catch all of them.

Thanks for reading and I love you reviewers!

- Rabecca


End file.
